the endeavor to endure
in the insecurity of the unknown






Trusting The Creative Process
DRAWING PROCESS






FRAME BUILDING PROCESS








EASEL BUILDING PROCESS









the endeavor to endure
I set sail many years ago—
Lost at sea and on my boat,
All alone with nowhere to go,
Trying to find my way back home.
Many times, I’ve met myself
At my best and at my worst,
Just to discover someone new
Every time I went to look.
In the emptiness of darkness,
There’s a fear that comes at night—
The unseen echoes of silence
In my harrowing, desperate plight.
Because fear conceals in darkness,
In the frightening sounds of rain;
The discomfort of seclusion
In the battle to remain.
But always remember
Be not discouraged by tomorrow
When you’re looking at today.
Time neither slows nor does it hasten—
Choose to go, or choose to stay.
continue reading….
THE ALTAR
For God did not leave us without a way to live free from the darkness of fear. The aisle is a
representation of the revelation given to me on the mountain from God about living properly
aligned — the algorithm that overcomes all fear and darkness. Each triangular structure has its own
breakdown, each side representing a new perspective.
Proper alignment is not about perfection, but about the posture of one’s heart — a reorienting of
one’s entire life to become a vessel that can be used for God’s purpose. Proper alignment is the key
that unlocks one’s inner man and opens one’s spiritual eyes.
This world is full of darkness, but we are called to be the light of this world, to follow the example
set for us by the only One who could pay the price for us to be reconciled to the Source.
Proper alignment is a spiritual altar inside the human heart — a place to bring our sacrifice, which is
our very selves, as a daily offering to the One who offered Himself for us. It is how we show
gratitude: by making the decision to be the example and to walk in the integrity of who He created
us to be.
Being properly aligned is the highest form of worship. It is our way of saying “thank you.” In this
posture of life, our identity is revealed, our purpose is made known, and our walk with God grows
through deep spiritual intimacy — and all fear disappears.
For it is written, “And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.”
THE SACRIFICE
The frame is the vessel that describes the first aspect of the call: to move into action, learning to be
obedient to His voice and going where He leads. It is the shift from merely claiming to believe to
being bold enough to put our faith into action. It is the invitation to live out our faith in God.
Words alone mean nothing if we are not willing to verify the foundation on which we have built our
lives. If He is who He says He is, and we believe in Him, then the only way forward is action.
The inner art is the call to trust Him. After having walked with Him, He calls us deeper into the
unknown — to take a step of faith, to put our trust in Him, and to give up control; to accept being
led. It is the movement into the open ocean, where we are tested and learn to lean solely on Him. It
is the place where our own strength fails and His mercy and love carry us, shaping us in the secret
place.
THE REVELATION
I once heard about a deep and dark cave in a distant, desolate foreign land that some people have
traveled to. A secret cave in the middle of the wilderness that carried the source of life itself. Since
the beginning of time, it has been rumored by those who heard the stories to appear only to those
who come to find it with a pure heart. Many have traveled to this land only to walk around aimlessly,
returning empty‐handed. Some have indeed found it, but most never go inside; and the ones who do
almost always turn back at the first glance of the darkness.
In this cave, it is said there is a threshold further down the corridor that separates the visible world
and transports those who enter into the realm unseen. A spiritual realm where none of the
life‐saving tools people rely on for safety, provision, or protection exist. There, they must learn to
survive in the spiritual realm, leaning only on the knowledge passed down from those who entered
before them and on the guidance of the voice inside themselves. They must navigate through
complete and utter darkness, feeling their way down the long corridor of truth that stretches
thousands of miles into the heart of the earth.
There is a fire that burns pure at the center of the earth, emanating heat through its tunnels and into
the long dark corridor. The fire burns away all things impure, and the deeper one enters, the more
they encounter that fire. Nobody knows when they will arrive, because the walk through the
corridor of fire and truth must be taken one slow step at a time, allowing the traveler to acclimate to
the increasing temperatures the deeper they go.
Most people don’t believe this cave is real, let alone pay the price to travel abroad to find it. Yet
many who do attempt the journey never find it, deceived by the condition of their own hearts. Even
those who do find it often refuse to go inside, afraid of what it might cost them, unsure whether
they truly believe the stories they’ve heard about what lies within. And those who cross the
threshold between the known and the unknown often turn back because of the burden of the fire
that wreaks havoc.
It is the complete destruction of what once was — burning away the dead brush inside those who
walk the path, consuming all dead things only to leave a fresh layer of topsoil where new life can
arise.
I had heard of this place all my life, and after wrestling with the reality of my own existence, I made
the decision out of curiosity and brokenness to go see for myself. I had multiple dreams about
making a journey inside this cave, only to wake up in my bed unable to separate the dream from
reality. It was as if, once I made the decision in my heart to go, the cave began to summon me
through visions and dreams; unexplainable encounters i could no longer unsee, nor could I ignore.
These dreams became so prevalent and clear that I no longer feared the journey, but instead looked
forward to going all the way — a trip across foreign lands and turbulent ATBA seas, just to reach
the shores of the uninhabited island where the cave was said to be.
Knowing it would cost me more than I could possibly fathom, I did not want to attempt the journey
unless I was willing to go all the way. No matter what took place, I decided before leaving that if this
cave was real, I would subject myself to whatever it took to discover what was deep inside. Even if I
never came out, I made peace with the possibility that I could die in there — and I had to be okay
with that.
I had heard and read the accounts of those who had gone inside and returned, many of whom had
already died. I knew of only one person who had gone in the deepest. His words described my
dreams about this cave so vividly that I knew he must have gone in to know such hidden things. I
had never been, yet I saw it in my sleep. I felt what it would be like to be connected to that source of
life. I had never felt anything like it before, and waking up in my normal bed left me wanting more
of what I had just experienced. So I watched and listened to this man who spoke about my dreams,
hoping to gain at least a mental blueprint of what to expect when things became dark. I just needed
to know I was going the right way.
In the darkness, I wanted to feel the different textures on the cave walls and remember the
descriptions from those who had gone before me, so I would know not only that I was on track, but
that I was going to be okay — having no control over where I was going or what would happen
with my next step. For in the insecurity of the unknown, and in the darkness of the blind, all hidden
things come out to play.
From the conviction of my heart and the confirmation of the stories of those who had gone before
me, I made the decision to leave everything I knew and see if the cave would reveal itself to me. Sure
enough, there it was — and there I was — afraid and insecure, knowing the moment of truth had
come. Having left everything behind, I walked into that cave, knowing the sacrifice would be
everything.
6 Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them.
7 “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.